Thursday, August 7, 2008

I KEA= It Kicks Everyone's Arse

I have never been to an IKEA.
I've always drooled online but never purchased any of their "great deals" because the shipping is totally out of control.
Today, I took the kids to an IKEA here in Santa Ana,
since we aren't lucky enough to have one in Fresno.
(come on IKEA, Fresno would rock your socks).

Have you ever been to an IKEA?
I felt so stupid.
It literally took me 10 minutes just to figure out how to get into the area
where they actually sell things.
I had to ask the "podium person" to help me find my way.
He must have thought I came from the moon.

After that ordeal, I finally made it into the shopping "heaven" that is IKEA.
I wished we had more trunk space for the ride home cuz this mama was in deal spotting mode.
I wanted to get sooooo many of their cute dishes, pillows, containers
(they have LOTS of containers...and if you know me, you know I like containers).
I settled on just a few things that I knew would fit in the car.
I would have taken more pictures, but my camera battery is dead, and the charger is at home. Lame.

Here's the loot:

1. A green circle rug for Zach's room. ($8.99)
2. A lazy susan. ($7.99)
btw...I would never want my name to be susan for fear of being called lazy.
3. A magnetic board ($12.99)
4. A cherry 3 picture frame ($12.99)
5. A new duvet/pillow covers ($29.99)

We were probably in there for over an hour, and it all started to go downhill.
Zach decided he was fussy and hungry.
There isn't any place to go just sit and breastfeed, I had no idea where a bathroom was inside this labyrinth, and I wasn't about to go around asking.

By this time, I am over-the-edge with the most awful cart that I had picked out.
You know the one.
The one that won't steer straight?
The one that looks like you are pushing an over sized flat cart at Costco and have zero control?
That is the one.

Then, Macy started to smell the cinnamon rolls they sell after check out and starting begging for one.
I told her yes, without any hesitation because they have infiltrated my nose-holes as well.
For whatever reason, she decided to cry about wanting one.
I had already told her YES!
She is so used to hearing no, she didn't know what to do about it, so she had to do her whining regardless.
So, we headed for check out.
Good-bye great deal heaven.

The only check-out stands are the ones that are "self-check."
Oh. My. Heavens.
People are so stupid.
I picked the shortest line (only one man in front of me)
He had his pants pulled up to his chest.
That should have been my first clue.
It. Took. For-ev-er.
Then, the "self check" helpers had a lady who couldn't figure out how to scan for herself go in front of me!
What up with that???
I've been waiting...why have self check if you are going to do the checking for someone?
Come on IKEA. Get with the program.
Everyone seems to be a little fussy in the check out area.
Probably because it is taking toooooo long and there are 5 helpers in there just standing around, but no lines open for just regular check out.
Way to go and ruin a perfectly decent shopping experience.
Then, we finally got our turn.
It took me probably 2 minutes, max.
Yes, that's how it's done.

After you feel so successful for having saved some serious cash-o-la, they hit you with a better deal on the way out. Hot dogs for $0.50 and mondo cinnamon rolls for a buck. You heard me right. You can get a heart-attack right there while you wait.

We got hot dogs and a cinnamon roll.
The deal was too good to pass up.
After we got all settled to start eating, Macy lost the dog out of her hot dog.
Refused to eat the bread.
Now the line is deep, so I'm not going back.
She ate mine.
I was drooling, but suddenly go the urge that the bathroom was calling my name, and in a hurry.
(sorry, i know this is a lot of information, but you must understand the entire experience)
No way am I taking a newborn, a full cart, and a cranky kid into the bathroom. Our hotel is only minutes away.
I sprint through the parking lot.
Load the car.
Take a quick snapshot (Macy's face says it all)
Buckle the kids.
Get to the hotel.

Thank you IKEA, while I think your stuff is pretty amazing, and your deals are saaaa-weet, I doubt I will make a special trip down here with a U-HAUL just to do some container shopping. How about building in the Central Valley? Just a thought.

(Yes, I did just fine in our own bathroom...I know you were wondering)


  1. Oh that is so what it is like at Ikea! I always get behind the people who are so slow in the checkout lane.

    And yes, our house if full of their containers as well. LOVE THEM!!

    Glad you are having fun on vacation!

  2. This post cracked me up! I love those self-check lines because I am so efficient 99.9% of time. However, it seems like 99.9% of the other people are NOT :)

  3. Too funny!! I have never been to Ikea...their shipping is so high, too!
    I hope one will come close to me someday :)
    Thank you for the funny post! I just love your blog :)

  4. I just majorly PUFFY heart ikea! glad you got to take in the full experience. They are awesome! Sounds like you got some great deals too...

  5. This reminds me- I need to do an IKEA run soon! It takes us about 45 minutes to drive across town to the nearest one, and I wonder why the heck they don't have one coser to me. It would be the topper on my shopping cake.

    I'm impressed you braved IKEA alone with two kids!

  6. I JUST went to Ikea for the first time on Monday!!! You and I are twins!!!!

    LOVED IT THERE! In fact, right now I am blogging from my new Ikea desk! :)

  7. Ha! You are so funny. That cracked me up. IKEA is my Disneyland. I love it love it love it. Unfortunately there are none in the entire state of Colorado. Seriously.
    And I think you are incredibly brave for taking a toddler and a baby in that maze!

  8. I love IKEA we have them all over the place here.

    But we have no Cinnamon rolls, hot dogs, yes, Cinnamon Rolls no.

    I shall have to email IKEA and get them to sort that out because obviously the food they sell should be as important as their furnishings.

  9. I have never been to IKEA. There isn't one in my area (not even sure if there's one in the whole state!) but I've always wanted to go.

    Never been to Trader Joe's either but I've always wanted to go to one of those too.

    Maybe one of these days I'll get to go to all the cool stores I keep hearing about all over blogland!

  10. Oh Ikea!

    This place is dangerous, and I have one about 15 minutes from my front door. I could go on and on just on their 99 cent breakfast special. ;)

    And-- PS, self check lanes bring out the ditz in the human race. I HATE IT!

  11. Ooooh, shopping spree. They opened up an Ikea a few years ago here in CT, but it's an hour away and I haven't gone. However, I recently received their catalog and want a ton of things. I might need to make a trip because we desperately need more chairs for our table as we only have four and there's five of us. Granted the baby still has a while in his high chair, but I can't even have company for dinner to admire my beautiful new table.

  12. That would've been me at IKEA. And, don't you just love it when kids cry just because? In my house, it means nap/bedtime.

  13. Oh, IKEA. It always starts out okay with us and then by the end we're complete messes and always end up with at least one thing we're like, "What the heck? Why did we buy that?"

    Nice post!