Tuesday, September 15, 2009

hot dog 101

:: i thought i would be fUnNy and make up my own
"how to eat a hotdog"
as a slight joke to my dear uncle ron::

unfortunately, i couldn't figure out where to start.
as a likely next move, i did what any computer savvy person
would do in this day and age.
I gOoGleD it.
wouldn't you know there's a whole slew of this crap.
no seriously, they take it SERIOUSLY.
wouldn't cha know.

wikihow is full of answers.
  1. Determine the environment. How you prepare for this meal will depend greatly on the circumstances and surroundings. Is this a quick lunch; a party with friends; a “working lunch” with a business contact; something for the kids? Each of these situations require different methods of preparation and consumption. If you must be mundane and a quick lunch is your objective then these are the proper steps to follow.
  2. Prepare the ingredients.
    • The Dog: The recommended option is the standard sausage hotdog. However, if you must avoid sausages, beef is acceptable. If you choose turkey, chicken or vegetable, this may not be the best place to use those – try one of the other serving techniques.
    • The bread bun: Definitely white bread buns are in order. Avoid wheat or more exotic breads such as Italian or other flavored breads. Those will cover the meat and confuse your pallet..
    • Accompanying drink: The soda of your choice is recommended. You will definitely want to avoid more esoteric drinks such as wine or fine tea.
  3. Cook the hot dog.
    • Microwave oven: For the quick-and-dirty preparation, this works fine. For a thawed, standard hotdog, between 30 and 60 seconds is quite enough. Hotdogs are precooked so you are only heating them to the right temperature.
    • Pay Fry: This is the preferred method. It takes a bit longer, but the taste is well worth the effort. Use a non-stick spray and turn the dogs frequently. The objective is a golden brown with just a few dark streaks.
    • Boil: For straight from the hot dog cart taste you can boil the dogs. They're already cooked so just leave it in until its hot or it splits! (NEVER BOIL a hot dog, heat gently until they float to the top. NEVER let them split, they become water logged!
  4. Prepare the Presentation. Even a fast lunch is more appealing when served appropriately. This takes very little time but the rewards are substantial.
    • Type of plate and utensils: Use paper and plastic. This type of meal must be served on a paper plate. The use of a plate support is optional but recommended. Never use ceramic or china or you will destroy the effect. Similarly, you should use plastic flatware rather than metal. A fork is appropriate for potato salad; a spoon should be used for beans.
    • Condiments: Mustard, mustard, mustard. Ketchup may be used sparingly, but is not recommended. Mayonnaise should never be used in this preparation (except in France). Place the dog on the bun and squeeze the mustard on the dog (not on the bun) so it forms a long serpentine effect.
    • Garnish: Chopped onions and relish are de rigueur. Place these on top of the dog and mustard.
    • Chips and side dish: Add chips and a side dish. Do not let the beans touch the potato chips or the hotdog bun.
  5. Serve. Delivering the finished product is important to the event. The best method is the “drop and call” technique--set the plates on the table and call the diners. They should not be seated before being served.
  6. Eat. The way to eat this preparation is entirely casual. It is not uncommon to drip mustard on clothing and that is perfectly acceptable for this weekend afternoon family fun.
I'm not quite sure what manual uncle ron read, but his included everything but the kitchen sink. SERIOUSLY.

1 comment:

  1. ok that dog gave me a tummy ache just looking at it!!! Your such a good googler :P