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Monday, August 30, 2010

i know, right?

Macy made this for me.

I remarked that it, "Reminds me of something."

She replied, "I know mom, I knew you would just love it."

I wondered if she knew I was making a connection to Elphaba from Wicked, so I asked her, "She totally reminds me of the Wicked Witch, you know..." (as I'm searching in my memory for the name Elphaba)

She cuts me off, "Yep mom, I just knew how much you love Idina Menzel."

Pft. Yeah, that's really what she said.

i am joni lane, and i am pretty sure my five year old is already smarter than i am.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

makynzie the monkey

makynzie is such a monkey.
thank you miss raquel for letting me snaps some beauts 
of your lovely girl.







wants some beauts of you and yours?
if you are local, leave me a comment or email me at 
heartpresseddesigns (at) gmail (dot) com for a price list.
:: we'll set something up ::

i am joni lane and i say, "no more monkeys jumping on the bed."

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Schadenfreude

i think i have a serious case of schadenfreude.

i love pillow talk.
i tend to bait steve with "tell me a story" questions late at night.
somehow, please don't ask me how, we started talking about puke.
that's right.
vomit.
throw-up.
and he proceeds to tell me a puke story.
i almost peed my pants laughing.
i literally delighted in his misfortune.
pure delight.
here's his story.
i promise you will "grimace" with laughter.

Disclaimer: 
You first need to know a little about Steve.
Steve is a "do-righter."
Never in trouble.
Doesn't cause waves.
I don't think he has ever really been "in trouble" in his life.
Seriously.

STEVE:
"I'm in third grade.
My good friends name is Randy 
(last name protected to save his dignity) 
He is standing behind me in line getting ready to go to class after recess.
I am minding my own business.
Then all of a sudden 
(insert retching noises)
*you can start laughing now, i promise*
Randy yacks all over my back and backpack.
Projectile.
Dude, I thought we were friends and you just puked all over me.

--Steve doesn't admit to, but I believe with conviction that he threw the dude a dirty look.--
Picturing this makes me laugh even harder. 
I think I might have even snorted. Yes, I did.
Loud.

Steve continues with this part of the story.
"This is the same dude who beaned me with a baseball at a game
right after I had just spent the night at his house and later he has the audacity to say,
"That's awesome, I can see the stitches of the ball on your BACK!"
Yeah. Awesome.
Again, I thought we were friends.


i am joni lane, and maybe this is one of those stories where you really had to be there.

Monday, August 23, 2010

tsk tsk panda

bust.ED.


Panda Express...you are sooooooooo outed for being a big fat sham.


Have you ever visited a Panda Express where they have plastered ALL OVER THE PLACE their "promise" about "If you aren't given a receipt at the time of purchase while you are still at the counter you get a FREE MEAL" ????


Our Panda Express states that promise.
So much so, that I watch them like Go-Go Gadget Eagle Eyes to make sure I get my friggin' receipt. 
Don't judge me.
If you make a promise, and you break it, I'M MAKING YOU STICK TO IT.


Case in point.
Steve and I hit up the drive thru.
It's PLASTERED on their drive up window.


I get our food. 
We check for correctness.
I wait.
She opens up the window and asks, "Did you need something else?"


AND BINGO WAS HIS NAME-O! 
YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME MY RECEIPT!!!
(i totally did NOT say that outloud but it completely went through the self talk in my head)
FREEEEEEEE MEAL!


I very politely inform her that she forgot my receipt, and given their plastered promise, I am now entitled to a free meal.
She laughed at me.
Seriously.
To my face.
Laughed.
Then handed me my receipt, and started to close the window in "buh-bye" fashion.
Oh no she didn't.


I laugh right back now, because if you know me, this is where I start to get chippy.
I again, very politely say, "But your pretty little sign says if YOU forget, then I get a free meal, and you forgot."


She is now straight faced and a little pinkish. 
Because now my friends, she realizes I AM SERIOUS.
I want my free meal and I'm not leaving here without it because NOW lady, you have crossed me.
You broke your plastered-all-over-your-store-promise.


We have a 5 second stare down.
(if you've ever had one of these you know that they feel like FOR.EV.ER.)


She signed my receipt.
I get a free meal. (exhibit B)
And yeah, they are sooo getting my opinion and I am totally getting a side. (exhibit A)


Moral of the story...don't break your promises.
Ever.
It makes you look like an "a double snakes."

i am joni lane, and if your cross your heart and hope to die stick a million needles in your thigh...it just might happen on my watch.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

the bucket brigade

yesterday i was strong.
yesterday i "eye-rolled" the idea of being emotional over this whole kindergarten "thing."
yesterday i equated "going to kindergarten" like sending her off on yet another year of preschool.
yesterday i didn't see the levity of this milestone.


today i packed her first lunch.
and i went way beyond misty.
this milestone, this moment in all its grandness at the threshold of my door.
my "someday"...here.
my "tomorrow"....here.
my "baby"....here.


who knew a pb&j could do that to a grown woman.
it did.
and it really surprised me.


how great is a mother's love.
how lovely the moments are when we relish these milestones.
how lucky i am to be part of this moment.
this grandness.
this threshold.

waiting for the bus.
{she did turn around and smile...melted me.}

yes, i stalked the bus to school.

saying hi to friends.

((letting go))

((and holding on))
Welcome Home sissy from your first REAL day!!


i am joni lane and i went way beyond misty-ness

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

orientation and a shameless plug

today we oriented ourselves to kindergarten.

more like mommy oriented herself to the idea of having a school-age child.

now hold the phone.
i did NOT get all misty-eyed.
seriously.
but that's because for the last two months TODAY has been circled on the calendar as
ORIENTATION.
i get that is a technicality. 
really, i do.
but TOMORROW.
tomorrow is her first REAL day of kindergarten.
i have played this moment over in my mind since before she was even conceived. 
it's another one of those milestones.
we seem to have had a lot of those lately.
so no promises on the misty-ness.
and there will be absolutely no bet-making.
deal? deal.




now onto the shameless plug...
i'm making these, sellin' em at bubba-lu's.
the prints are $10 each and 
$15 if you want the fancy marking/washable pen.
you provide the frame.
taking pre-orders.

leave me a comment if you are interested.


i am joni lane and i refuse to make promises i can't keep.

Monday, August 16, 2010

working on the list part five

Our summer is nearing the end, and we still have lots of stuff on the summer list.
i had really high hopes of finishing it all, but really i feel content with what we did.
we went at our own pace.
we didn't rush ourselves.
we enjoyed {almost} every moment.
here's another few checks:

Macy learned to ride her bike without training wheels! 
It was AMAZING. 
We are so proud of how hard she worked, and how fast she picked it up!

I made some reusable baggies today for Macy's lunches.
I think you will all be very proud of me for a few reasons:
#1: I started to be very precise about my measuring and seams, until I pictured Macy ACTUALLY using it. And I envisioned the jelly mess. The fingerprints...so I just threw the preciseness out the window and went to town on these babies.
#2: I made a bunch. Like A BUNCH. That makes me excited.
I also found her an old-school lunch box at (OLD NAVY: SCORE!)
and decided to macy-fy it! (it was the DOTS candy version and I was inspired)
I wish it was my lunch box.

And, although this technically wasn't on the "list," I'm making an addendum and adding 
"get to know your spraypaint section at Walmart and paint everything you can think of."
So I did.

I refinished some lockers my dad has had FOR.EV.ER.
They aren't perfect, but I love them.
They are from our local high school.
And, I did some new chairs for our kitchen.




my name is joni lane and i love cherry red spraypaint. it rocks my socks.

Monday, August 9, 2010

we had a wicked good time...

no, we did not visit boston.

steve and i celebrated our 9th anniversary in san francisco (i know...you are all thinking, "wasn't she just there?")
yes.
but seriously, who can get enough of the city by the bay?
anyways.
the main purpose of this trip was to kiss....errr, i mean go to the musical WICKED.
and that we did.

let me just say,
IT WAS SO GOOD.
"So good" really isn't justice enough.
oh my freakin' goodness gracious holy pancakes, IT WAS SO GOOD!!!!!
GO SEE IT!
We had a fantastic time in the city.
We hit up Blondie's Pizza (I had the fruit pizza, Steve had regular pepperoni)
We "dropped" by the H & M, Forever 21, Cako, the 3 for $20 sunglass place, a street jewelry vendor, and donut world. 
(jealous much?)
We dined at "Daffodil" and walked so much it hurt to get out of bed the next day.
Here are some of my favorite pictures:
the street marching band
i wish they made this in kitchen size.



i took this opulent picture for macy.

The next day we drooled at IKEA, inhaled the garlic of Gilroy, and brought back enough corn to feed a small army. 



steve started to feed these little crack heads and they wouldn't leave us alone! 
the big ones literally wags his tail at you when you feed him. 
steve loved them, they TERRIFIED me.
We had lunch at Casa de Fruta and started to get a little misty over the kids. It was time to head home.
We missed our babies.


I am joni lane, and i refuse to feed crack head ducks.