Sunday, February 13, 2011

smooth batter.

My batter is getting smooth.

I know you have no idea what that means.
Let me 'splain it to you in the words of my five-year-old.

The death of our pets has been really hard.
I've done my fair share of crying and achy-missing.

One night, while snuggling Macy for bedtime,
she analogized my weepy feelings this way:

Macy: "Mom, you're just not smooth yet, that's okay."
Me: "Whaaaaaat?" (I'm thinking she's telling me I'm not cool or something along those lines.)
Macy: "You know, it's like making banana muffins.  You already have your ingredients in the bowl and you are mushing up the batter now.  You're lumpy and getting all bumpy right now.  Pretty soon, you'll be ready to have smooth batter to pour muffins."
Me: {tears} "You are absolutely right, Macy, absolutely right."

Daily she asks me if my batter is smooth enough to pour yet.
Every day gets a little better.
A little less sad, a little less bumpy.

Here are some tools that have started to smooth my batter.

* At their graveside, we each went around and shared our favorite memories of the pups.
Some were really funny, some were sad, some were blessed moments that are so unique to each of them that I KNOW we will never forget.

* My mom bought us some remembrance trees.  A Champagne Peach that I can see as soon as I drive into the driveway.  A reminder of my beautiful Blitz who was always delighted to greet me there.  A dwarf double peach/nectarine tree for our speckled mutt mix, Diego.  And, a cherry tree as a reminder to our family that life is sweet.

*Friends and family have covered us in well wishes, understanding, and love.  It's a testament to the connection that people have with their pets.  At first I was being really hard on myself and felt silly for hurting so badly.  I've been reminded that it's okay.  We lost our friends.  Our very loyal, loving, devoted friends.

*Friends and family have committed to going home and checking where their poisons are stored.  For the safety of their children, their pets, and their neighbors pets.  It has raised awareness.  I am grateful for that.

*And the biggest tool thus far:  is not a replacement.  We like to call it an extension.  An extension of our love and the feelings we still feel for Blitz and Diego.  What better way to honor our pets, than to continue that love full circle and care for new ones.  Yesterday we made a big decision.  Honestly, for Steve and I it was a really hard decision.  A total no-brainer for our kids, as I'm sure you can imagine.  As a family, we welcomed two new loves into our home.  Brothers. Beautiful, smart, and sweet.  Labs.  A golden and a white.  Koufax and Kershaw. (Yes, we are Dodger fans.  We bleed Dodger blue.)  Our kids are smitten.  Murphy, our little inside pup is frantic with excitement.  We are falling in love with them.

So here's to smooth batter.  And maybe someday, muffins.

Welcome Koufax and Kershaw.


  1. So sad for your loss, but I love the story of how Macy's insight into life...what a deep thinker! your new sweeties....they are adorable!! I love reading your blog!

  2. That Macy, sure has a way with words. Got me to shed some tears. Sorry for your loss, glad you have an amazing support system.

  3. I LOVE YOU MACY TAYLOR LLOYD! and you know joni, it is otay to be a wee bit lumpy.