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Saturday, January 14, 2012

dear macy

please remind me to dig this up when Macy is an adult, mother, wife....if she so chooses....

Dear Macy,

I know you just cleaned your floors.
Everything smells yummy, and sparkly, and you're feeling like
right now you have it all together.

The dishes are put away,
the kids aren't screaming at each other...
and life feels clean and organized, and all together wonderful.

You are probably thinking that you might actually qualify
for a Better Home and Garden feature...
You've been eyeing those other homes wondering, "how do they do it?"
Does their house ALWAYS look this way?
The perfect house, perfectly groomed kids, dogs that lay still for the front of the
house shot...with the nice lawn and perfect lighting.
You can almost smell the cologne on that perfect husband too.

And you think,
your kitchen looks kickin' right now.
You probably could totally qualify.
Really.

Out walks your oldest child.
She's carrying a box of cake mix.
You're probably holding your breath right about now
thinking you can "will-away" the question you know is about
to spill its way from her lips...
But you can't.

Her sights are set.
It's the box of cake mix you promised to make way back around Christmas.
It's been hiding in the pantry.
Much to your gratefulness.
Now, it's making an entrance.

It's being escorted down the hallway with eyes the size
of oreos and a hopefulness that resembles the candy "pop rocks."
You know it's coming.
She's going to ask.
And she thinks she already knows your answer.
You've said no twice already...
What she also knows is that she has the tenacity of a puggle.
And she knows you know it too.

"Mom, can we please make a cake today?"
silence.
*sigh*..."I already know what you're going to say..."
she continues.
You make eye-contact.
(here comes the lawyer in her...)
"You said we could make this a long time ago...and we still haven't,
and we really aren't doing that much today, and it's just you and me
here at home, and it would be really fun, and you said we were going to have
fun today, and making a cake would be really fun, and i promise i won't make a
mess, and when the boys come home, we could have cake for dessert tonight,
and we need to make it before it expires, and i promise i won't make a mess."

*sigh* this time it's going to be you.
**contemplative**
you're going to look around your pretty kitchen.
trust me.
you will.
you will still smell the yummy smell of clean floors.
the thought of batter running on the counters will probably make your
heart palpate a little because YOUR KITCHEN IS SO PICKIN' CLEAN.
and you'll catch a glimpse of that gorgeous little being in the corner of your eye.
and you'll realize it's not the sparkling sink that made you pause.
it wasn't even the thought of your lemon-fresh microwave that is no longer crusted in exploded
pizza bites.
it was her.
she made you pause.
she made you pause because right now she's little.
and you can already feel her growing up.
you can mark the changes just in the last few months of her maturity.
and it will click for you that this is your moment.

your moment to say yes.
yes.
to surprise her with your enthusiasm.
to encourage her unabashed love for creating.
to embrace that life is not a magazine ad.
to clarify that what is important to you is her.

and you will.
you'll say yes because it was harder to do.
you'll say yes because you'll remember making a cake with her.
and she will too.
and you'll remember cleaning up a mess that was made in fun.
because that microwave is still going to get pizza bites slathered in every corner,
and the sink won't stay that clean for long.

and hopefully macy,
you'll have some fun too.
but i'm willing to bet, that in the moment
that you say yes to your sweet little one...
the hardest part is over.

because the rest my dear, is just fun.

i hope that someday,
you get to have as much fun with your little one,
as i have had the privilege of sharing with you.

Love,
Your mama











3 comments:

  1. through teary eyes, i thank-you joni lane. i see you as a child in every pic of her. and i remember your lawyeresque (my word!) manner of approach from the time you were talking, if the cause were deemed a worthy one. certainly the baking of a cake qualifies, and, as always, i am so proud of you for recognizing that! zach & macy are so blessed!
    i love you more! auntie.

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  2. Yay for saying yes (as I make a note to myself to make sure the cake box mix is hiding in our pantry)...but it's so very rewarding!

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  3. Okay, while this is an amazing post and deep and I love it, I'm going to ask a super shallow and superficial question because I'm amazingly short focused like that...haha. I have the silicon cake pan that is supposed to make a giant cupcake like that. I did it for one of my kids birthdays (I had grand schemes to turn it into R2D2 - I know, huh what?) and the cake completely fell apart the night before so the thing was barely holding on the next day with toothpicks and skewers and propped up on all sides because it was midnight and I couldn't make another store run when I made it...yes, it's a typical day in the life of...
    It was the UGLIEST R2D2 cake on the face of the planet.

    Anywho, I just was wondering if this was a really truly "out of the box" cake mix. It looks like vanilla. I'm thinkin that funfetti cake out of the box is the problem here. The devil, so to speak, of all cake mixes. Note to self, don't use funfetti if you are doing something more than a rectangle. It will crumble and cause emotional havoc at midnight. This post just confirmed this suspicious thought I have been having....

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