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Thursday, July 25, 2013

2013 January

January was a rough, rough month.
I honestly questioned the sincerity of 2013.
2013, you've got to be better than this first impression.
Steadily the year has gotten better but it certainly didn't begin that way.
Our family eagerly sought out joy in the midst of sorrow.
It was a true lesson in gratitude for us.

At the onset of January, one of Macy's classmates endured a tragic accident with his older brother.
It rocked our community.
It devastated our school.
It brought friends and neighbors together, and strangers became close to family.
We embraced.
Joy in the midst of sorrow.

And then one day, after a deep deep freeze, I came home to find this in our house:
The pipe in the playroom burst and had been running for who knows how many days, we don't frequent the back playroom often, especially when it's cold.
So it rained, from the ceiling. A lot.
It was too much for our little steam cleaner.
And for the next month Service Master practically lived at our house, trying to dry out the walls, ripping out the carpet, and pulling down the paneling down the studs.
And the perspective for me was that it was an inconvenience.
Not permanent.
We were all okay.
And we sought joy in the midst of sorrow.
We found laughter in little promises, like "if you help clean the house without complaining, I'll let you paint my nails."
And he's a promise keeper so laughter was found.
 Happiness was felt in small moments like big sisters who read to their little brothers.
 All-Star Soccer games were played, and won.
 And answers were found after 8 years of pain.
I have struggled with severe calf pain since before Macy was born.
I was told over and over different reasons for my pain.
Pregnancy.
Stress.
Arthritis.
Tests were run, vein testing, nerve testing.
I wore a compression sock for a year.
I did therapy for a year.
I met my insurance deductible with no answers so I finally gave up and limped along with the pain.
Finally, I went to a Dr. who listened.
Insisted on an MRI.
Found that I am harvesting Cherrios in my muscles.
No really.
It's a bone.
It's called myositis ossificans.
Developed from an old (8 years ago remember) injury that was never treated properly.
Deep in my muscle. Not operable.
Live with the pain.
Joy in the midst of sorrow; I have an answer.
I am not crazy.
I am special and unique.
It will be there forever, but it's not going anywhere, and it's just a bone.
Not cancer, just a bone.
That hurts. Often.
 While I am disappointed it's not going away,
I am grateful for answers and doctors who listen.


Joy in the midst of sorrow.



I amand there was a point in seeing my MRI that I believed I was abducted by aliens.

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